It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
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