you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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