Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
they're like a gay fantastic four
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
