i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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