We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize