I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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