I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Randomize
