umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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