you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
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