Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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