tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
