is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
