I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
We got so high we made milksteak
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
did you just send me my own nude
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
