we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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