I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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