nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Randomize
