In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Randomize
