the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Dicks are not precious.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
