I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
