Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Randomize
