We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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