Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
