You're a womanizer and a bitch.
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
they need to just BURY HIM!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
