But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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