At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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