its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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