idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We are two peas in an std pod
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
