I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
Randomize
