We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize