Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
