How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
