I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize