we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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