Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Randomize
