I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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