she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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