I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
