sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
