i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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