real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
The best revenge is premature balding
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
