u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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