She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
