Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You can't motorboat a personality
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Someone came in the potted fern
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
