There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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