When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
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