Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
