its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
