Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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