found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
