Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Where is the hickey?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize