Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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