I love black thongs
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
