you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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