Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
