i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
