This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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