currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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